I was just thinking about friends... you see, when I don't feel well it's a struggle to keep up with conversations, let alone my "all is good" facade. I just want to snuggle up with a blanky and watch stupid reality television.
I used to be a multi-tasker. Oh yes, yes I was. Don't shake your head. I was a kindergarten teacher! And I was a damn good one. Now I forget that I've put toast in the toaster and start writing blog posts. 2 hours later I wonder why I'm so hungry! You've gotta laugh right?
Back to friends... I don't have many left, but the ones I do, WOW, they are super-friends! The kind that will leap mountainous piles of laundry in the entryway just to sit on dirty socks to have a cold one and chat. The kind that will call you back in the middle of the night when you feel like you'd rather die than live like this anymore. Those are the kinds of friends I'm left with and they have no idea what love and gratitude I hold for them.
Then, I tell myself, "well, it would be nice to know more people, get out a bit." That seems like such a great idea, until I have to make an effort. Who wants to get dressed and why do I need to answer their texts at the ungodly hour of 10:00 PM? Who's awake then? HEATHENS! That's who! And why do I want to be friends with heathens? Oh yeah, "it would be nice to know more people, get out a bit." The dilemma!
Perfectly nice people piss me off with their clingy-ness. I've got stuff to do! And then naps to take. But, I really am a nice person. I just don't have the energy some days. So, if it seems like I'm a flake or that I'm blowing you off, truly, it's nothing personal. It's just that, for today, I'm not able to be the kind of friend I want to be. Please don't stop asking, I really do want to hang out, just maybe we could sit in our pj's on my comfy couch and grunt and giggle