Starting over

Well, Hello!  It sure has been a while.  But, you know how life can be.  It definitely doesn't go according to plan.  Which is why I wanted to talk to you.  You see a little over a month ago, life threw me another curve ball.  I was coasting along, minding my own business when, WHAM!  I found out my husband of 19 years has been "talking" to another woman.  SERIOUSLY!  I kind of thought life was straightening out.  I had made it through my disability hearings and an independent medical exam, the lyrica had my fibro controlled most days, my stomach had been feeling better, my kids were being awesome teenagers and my libido had been kicked up.  That libido, it's caused problems in the past, but it's been better this spring.  Sex was good again.  And that's sort of a huge thing when for over 4 years it had been in hiding.  And while my libido had been AWOL my husband's was (as usual) out of control.   So I did what my mama had taught me, "put out or he'll look somewhere else."  And it wasn't fun.

But, my gosh, this spring, it got fun again.  And so my marriage, and sex life, were trucking along very nicely.  Until I checked the cell phone bill.  And saw a number I knew, but couldn't understand how this "pursuing" had been going on under my nose for months!  I felt betrayed, hurt, destroyed.

I want to point out that currently, I believe it was the best thing that could've happened.  It woke us all up.  We had been taking our relationship for granted and I had been stuck.  Cause being sick, well, it makes anything extra out of the question.  Survival!  That's all that I could do.  But since I'd been feeling better I knew that there was going to be more to my life, I was just stuck.  What to do?   There are a million things I want to do.  Blog, travel, craft, exercise, write, DIY....  I hadn't STARTED anything.  Mostly because I want to do everything.  So this is my new beginning.  My do-over.  My exploration of what God has in his plan for me.

I'm starting to make some goals and I will share them with you.  For today, I just want to say that when you think your world is ending, it may just be your new beginning.